OCEAN OF WORDS
by Navya Panjugula
I consider my thoughts my greatest strength. They keep me up at night, make me anxious,
but also make me realize I am not the person I was yesterday.
Sometimes my thoughts are like rains on a summer afternoon which make no sense. Other times they are the ocean that generates tide after tide that come crashing onto the shore as if it were only natural.
Sometimes a high tide sometimes a low tide but mostly a tsunami.
These waves bring with them words, words in all languages I know and, in all combinations.
As these waves recede, they deposit a few of them on the beach and keep the rest with them for some other day. I often sit there waiting and collecting whatever I find like a little girl collecting seashells on the beach.
I carefully lay them out arranging them in different combinations desperately trying to make sense out of them. I somehow weave a sentence with these mostly gray words. One sentence follows another and before I know it, I have a very long verse of unflattering words that talk about nothing. That is the reason I write.
I write to make sense of my thoughts like untangling different colour threads from a lump of wool.
I write to fill the void in me.
I write as evidence for a life lived and feelings felt.
I write because the violin strings ask me how I feel.
I write because I have so much to unlearn.
I write because something as faint as a smell or sound can stir emotions inside me.
I write because the pen is the only weapon I know how to wield.
I write because I dream
I write because I feel
I write because I love
I write for the fun of it
I write because I can
I write because it is a wonder to me that there are millions of languages and billions of words and yet every piece of writing, however unremarkable it might be, is still original. Still
In the very vast ocean of writing this too will get lost but will find its shore someday.
I can write more but I see another wave approaching.
I am Navya Panjugula. I’m from Hyderabad, India. I work as a research assistant at a women’s studies research center in Hyderabad. I finished my masters’ degree with a major in Anthropology. I have loved reading books since my childhood. I love reading classic English literature, books on anthropology, feminism and books in my mother tongue, Telugu. In more ways than one, books have helped shape my worldview and have also led me to writing. I usually write on different issues like topics of personal interest, politics, and feminism. I also write opinion pieces on movies, documentaries or shows. When I don’t write or read, I love to cook, watch shows and learn new languages. WordPress: navyapanjugula.wordpress.com